Behind the Music: Bob D.

Robert David was born Rüdiger Erwin Hans Liechtenstein David III on July 13th 1961 to parents Dieter and Gertrude David high in the Liechtensteinian Alps. His childhood was usual for a boy of his age. He enjoyed the usual alpine activities such as yodeling, playing the alpenhorn and spending time with his best friends, cows. At age 12 he became interested in the world of business, writing business plans regarding how to run and manage his free time. He eventually went on to study business under Liechtenstein's greatest business mind. It was during his studies where he learned to disregard all traditional business teachings and eventually form his current model of business administration.

Bob's first real business venture came at age 19, when he developed a line of winter apparel for swiss alpine cows. His bovine clothing line was perfectly targeted to those swiss cow farmers. Using innovative advertising slogans such as "Das warm cow ist ein happy cow!" and "Best milk comes from best warm cow!" as well innovative marketing techniques such as personalized visits to farmers high in the Alps on bicycle. The farmers really felt like they were buddies and as such decided to buy Bob's patented cow warmers even though business was working just fine and was very profitable without them. Bob, not one to let an opportunity pass him by, insisted that he was just a small alpine boy from a small alpine family running a small alpine business. This tactic allowed Bob to gain sympathy from the farmers and buy milk for cheap.

Bob founded and ran a record of 19 successful business ventures over the course of the next 20 years or so. Bob had conquered the business world and decided it was time he turned his attention to politics. Since Liechtenstein is ruled by a prince, Bob saw that opportunity awaited him in the United States. At age 39, in 2000, Bob packed his bags and moved directly to the heart of US politics, Washington DC. Over the course of the next few years he mingled with Beltway insiders and slowly but surely edged his way into politics. After Bill Clinton's term ended Bob learned a valuable lesson from the presidency of George Bush. Bob learned that in order to truly be successful you do not always want to put yourself out in front. Instead, it can be very beneficial to be the second or third in charge and call the shots silently using a scapegoat. Bob carefully studied Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, hoping to learn all he could from these two masterminds.

During his time studying politics, Bob started up his latest venture, Generic Technologies. GenTechs is his latest and greatest achievement. Most recently, Bob has stealthily positioned himself into the campaigns of all the major US presidential candidates, including, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John McCain. He plans to use his position with the next president to allow for tax breaks and other government benefits towards GenTechs.

The future is bright for Rüdiger, and the opportunities are endless!