The Interview. This is a process most, if not all of us know well. Many people relish the challenge, while others fear the potential rejection.
Interviews are, without a doubt, very important. They can very well determine the course of your life for many years to come. It is very important to take it seriously and put yourself out there in the best possible way. Think of your strengths. Think of your weaknesses. Think of ways to overcome those weaknesses. Be prepared. Organize your thoughts. Be clear. Be concise. Be the best that you can be. Remember, they aren't giving you a job, you have to earn it.
I want you to consider the trait of selfishness, or the opposite of selflessness. It probably not something that comes into mind too often during the whole interview process, whether it is during preparation or the actual interview itself.
You Are Selfish.
Have you ever stopped to think about the person on the other end of the interview? No, didn't think so, you only think about yourself and the job YOU want to get.
Why the bitterness you may ask? Let me tell you.
I was put into a position by Bob today to give an interview I was not prepared for. He had scheduled the interview at the same time he had an important conference to attend. 15 minutes before the interviewee arrived, Bob phoned to let me know he wouldn't be there, and that I should take over, and get a feel for this new potential hire. Most importantly, I should look for that certain "twinkle" in his eye. You know, the one that shows he is genuinely interested.
I have always believed that the best way to introduce yourself to new people is with humor, so I started the interview off with a few jokes.
"We don't get any benefits, we are payed below minimum wage, there is no business plan, and the cafeteria food is terrible!" I said. Our new interviewee's eyes widened and I could see the terror creeping in. "Don't worry, I'm just messing with you! The cafeteria food is actually mediocre." I quickly said to lighten to the mood. He cracked a smile and chuckled and we continued with the interview.
Calling on experience from past interviews of my own (not including my GenTechs interview, lets just say that Bob has interesting methods) I began to show him around and explain just what we do here at GenTechs (as a side note, many of you may be wondering just what exactly we do here and I wish I could tell you, but we have signed a NDA with ourselves). After that I sat him down and asked him a few questions about his work experience, and a few about how he thought he could best fit in here. We spent the next 10 or 15 minutes discussing various work related issues until I thought I had done the best I could and said that we would be in touch.
Bob rang about 30 minutes after the interview had ended, wanting to know how it went. I proceeded to tell him the questions I asked, and the answers that I received. I told Bob that even though he did not have any prior experience, I thought he could do fairly well. Bob said "Let me tell you a secret." I listened in closely. "None of that stuff matters," he said, "did you see the twinkle?" "The what?" I asked. "The twinkle in his eye, you know, the one you can see when he is really interested." Bob continued on, explaining how in addition, you need to sell the company to the interviewee. He explained to me that just like any other business negotiation, you need to sell your company, tell them how great it would be to work here, let them know that its about the opportunity to learn to grow, and most of all that its just a great opportunity, its not about the money after all.
So in the end, I guess I am not actually bitter. At least not bitter towards Bob. More bitter at myself for not taking better advantage of the opportunity he gave me to learn how to interview and hone my interviewing skills.
Until we face off again, interviewee, I will be waiting, and I will be prepared.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
You should give some discount buddy!
Oh Robert Robert Robert... you are man who knows how to conduct business like no other. You king of the office you. It is truly an honor to be in your presence.
I have two short, but related stories for you today.
Let me begin by saying that Mr. David has put me in charge of building another new machine (recall the last one that just shipped). Even though I am in charge, Bob, will be intimately involved, popping in at critical moments after a lot of work has been to redo, change or otherwise modify my work. I know I am not really good enough, but all I can do is try. Instead of giving me the project fully to screw up, Bob will be there every step of the way holding my hand and utilizing our time well.
I had planned to begin construction by giving young Erwin a chance to get his hands dirty. I created a plan and was ready to give instruction to Erwin. Bob came to me and told me the same plan. Then he told me again. I called young Erwin into the room and proceeded to explain the plan to him. Bob must have realized that I was incapable of explaining it correctly, or that Erwin was incapable of understanding me. So Bob proceeded to tell him the plan. Then he told him again.
Thanks Bob. Its better to "use" that time to explain the same thing 5 or 6 times, rather than begin working and potentially work incorrectly. Thanks.
Later in the day, Bob and I had a meeting to discuss purchasing for the new machine. I had printed out price quotes from companies and was prepared to order. "No!" Bob exclaimed, "those prices are only the suggested retail prices, we should use our time to call them and get discounts instead of actually ordering."
Reluctantly I agreed and we began to call. **For those from the States, you may not be familiar with the concept of haggling, but read on and learn** The first place we called already had us in their system for a discount. Cha-Ching! The second place was more stubborn, saying they only offer discounts on large quantity purchases and for OEM customers than purchase more than a certain amount per year.
Bob stood his ground and proclaimed to this lowly sales engineer that we have purchased in the past and we should be entitled to a discount. Again this sales engineer protested "claiming" that we are not meeting the minimum order or the minimum purchase amount to be considered an OEM client. "You should give some discount buddy!" Bob proceeded to say, at which point the sales engineer said he would ask his superiors and see what he could do. I could tell though that he was just trying to get us off the phone. Jerk.
Look, don't be a jerk, and don't be stubborn, in the end Bob will get his discount one way or another.
I will keep you all updated on the progress of this new machine.
I have two short, but related stories for you today.
Let me begin by saying that Mr. David has put me in charge of building another new machine (recall the last one that just shipped). Even though I am in charge, Bob, will be intimately involved, popping in at critical moments after a lot of work has been to redo, change or otherwise modify my work. I know I am not really good enough, but all I can do is try. Instead of giving me the project fully to screw up, Bob will be there every step of the way holding my hand and utilizing our time well.
I had planned to begin construction by giving young Erwin a chance to get his hands dirty. I created a plan and was ready to give instruction to Erwin. Bob came to me and told me the same plan. Then he told me again. I called young Erwin into the room and proceeded to explain the plan to him. Bob must have realized that I was incapable of explaining it correctly, or that Erwin was incapable of understanding me. So Bob proceeded to tell him the plan. Then he told him again.
Thanks Bob. Its better to "use" that time to explain the same thing 5 or 6 times, rather than begin working and potentially work incorrectly. Thanks.
Later in the day, Bob and I had a meeting to discuss purchasing for the new machine. I had printed out price quotes from companies and was prepared to order. "No!" Bob exclaimed, "those prices are only the suggested retail prices, we should use our time to call them and get discounts instead of actually ordering."
Reluctantly I agreed and we began to call. **For those from the States, you may not be familiar with the concept of haggling, but read on and learn** The first place we called already had us in their system for a discount. Cha-Ching! The second place was more stubborn, saying they only offer discounts on large quantity purchases and for OEM customers than purchase more than a certain amount per year.
Bob stood his ground and proclaimed to this lowly sales engineer that we have purchased in the past and we should be entitled to a discount. Again this sales engineer protested "claiming" that we are not meeting the minimum order or the minimum purchase amount to be considered an OEM client. "You should give some discount buddy!" Bob proceeded to say, at which point the sales engineer said he would ask his superiors and see what he could do. I could tell though that he was just trying to get us off the phone. Jerk.
Look, don't be a jerk, and don't be stubborn, in the end Bob will get his discount one way or another.
I will keep you all updated on the progress of this new machine.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Introducing Coffee
When I woke up this morning, I had an email in my inbox from one of the new guys here at GenTechs. He had viewed this blog and decided that he wanted to contribute his thoughts. So I thought I would let him use this as an outlet for his thoughts.
Fresh out of college with a degree in Engineering, I felt that the world was my oyster. I, Erwin Llewellyn had a good degree from a reputable university, and the job-market in my field was in my favor. With a smile on my face and a kick in my step, I crossed the threshold of the GenTechs entrance looking forward to the interview I was about to have with a man called Robert David. I had three more interviews that day, but I was looking forward to this one the most. My other interviews were with larger companies, Intel, Black and Decker, the Navy, but I was more interested in joining a start-up. I knew the salary would be a lot lower, but the invaluable experience and the opportunity to get in on the ground level far surpassed any 60K job those other guys could offer me.
Fresh out of college with a degree in Engineering, I felt that the world was my oyster. I, Erwin Llewellyn had a good degree from a reputable university, and the job-market in my field was in my favor. With a smile on my face and a kick in my step, I crossed the threshold of the GenTechs entrance looking forward to the interview I was about to have with a man called Robert David. I had three more interviews that day, but I was looking forward to this one the most. My other interviews were with larger companies, Intel, Black and Decker, the Navy, but I was more interested in joining a start-up. I knew the salary would be a lot lower, but the invaluable experience and the opportunity to get in on the ground level far surpassed any 60K job those other guys could offer me.
Robert David, an on first impression friendly man, welcomed me with a hearty smile and a strong handshake. He showed me around the labs of the company and introduced me to his (somewhat less enthusiastic) employees. One person in particular, I believe he was the finance guy or the marketing guy or something, was busy watching a movie on his iPod. I also noticed a lot of equipment covered in aluminum foil. I have no idea why a power supply needs to be covered in aluminum foil, but I assumed they had a good reason and decided not to think of it any further.
After showing me the labs we went down to the cafeteria for the actual interview. An HR representative, who later explained he was also a researcher, joined us at that point. It was nearly lunch time, but we ended up just buying a cup of coffee (Mr David gracefully paid for mine). The HR rep. was not as enthusiastic as Mr David, but did have actual questions to ask during the interview. For example, he talked about what I hoped to accomplish in the next five years, how I valued my college experience, and also the usual questions such as describing myself, etc. Mr David, on the other hand, kept asking me irrelevant questions, such as 'How would you break up a fight at the company' and 'On a scale from one to ten, where would you place the way you wear your hat?'. I think they were impressed, because the conversation shifted to compensation. The HR rep. kept repeating the values one attains from working at GenTechs, without going into any specifics on payroll and benefits. I realised why when Mr David made me an offer ($18/hour without benefits). This was in sharp contrast with the other companies where I had been offered more than double the pay, with benefits.
Amusingly, my undergraduate degree was in something quite different to what GenTechs does, but they still wanted me there. I saw a future in the company that I felt could give me some great experience, and perhaps I could even help them make the company larger. Combined, I felt my business and engineering knowledge could be put to good use at the company, and so I gave it a try (continuing the job search just in case). A few days later I walked through the door as a GenTechs employee.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Shipment Day!
Remember that machine I told you about, you know, the one with the aluminum foil? Well it is finished and we are actually in the final stages of preparing the shipment. I don't have much time, but I felt I needed to relay this short story first.
Shipping packages is something we all do, easy right? Put the thing in a box, make sure there is padding, close box, tape box, ship box. Simple. Have you ever tried to ship a machine that weighs half a ton? Me neither.
Bob approached us last week, and came up with the brilliant idea that we, who have no experience, were going to pack AND ship the machine ourselves! Brilliant!
After a few days of straight debating the subject (while doing nothing else, productive) Bob finally, against his better judgement decided that maybe we should just hire a logistics company to pack and ship the machine for us.
The shippers arrived and Bob welcomed them to the manufacturing floor and they began to wrap the machine and prepare it for shipment. Bob, being Bob, stood watch while they packed it, giving them instructions on how to pack the machine. Remember, these guys are professionals, but Bob knows best. I'm sure they were impressed not only by Bob's enthusiasm, but also his supposed knowledge in shipping and packing matters. So just remember, hover over people who know better than you, and tell them how to do their job, they will be impressed.
After 2 hours of driving wonderfully in front of, behind, and next to the moving truck, and almost 4 accidents later (almost surely because of other drivers) we finally arrived, and delivered the machine. After spending almost 8 uneventful hours, we finished and finally headed home.
Shipping packages is something we all do, easy right? Put the thing in a box, make sure there is padding, close box, tape box, ship box. Simple. Have you ever tried to ship a machine that weighs half a ton? Me neither.
Bob approached us last week, and came up with the brilliant idea that we, who have no experience, were going to pack AND ship the machine ourselves! Brilliant!
After a few days of straight debating the subject (while doing nothing else, productive) Bob finally, against his better judgement decided that maybe we should just hire a logistics company to pack and ship the machine for us.
The shippers arrived and Bob welcomed them to the manufacturing floor and they began to wrap the machine and prepare it for shipment. Bob, being Bob, stood watch while they packed it, giving them instructions on how to pack the machine. Remember, these guys are professionals, but Bob knows best. I'm sure they were impressed not only by Bob's enthusiasm, but also his supposed knowledge in shipping and packing matters. So just remember, hover over people who know better than you, and tell them how to do their job, they will be impressed.
After 2 hours of driving wonderfully in front of, behind, and next to the moving truck, and almost 4 accidents later (almost surely because of other drivers) we finally arrived, and delivered the machine. After spending almost 8 uneventful hours, we finished and finally headed home.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
It's all about Appearances!
I was very pleased to bring you the abbreviated version of Bob's life story. The full story would just take up too much time to tell. During the writing of said biography, Bob inspired me, and I couldn't just leave today without passing that inspiration on to you.
The title of this story basically summarizes the story, It's all about Appearances! There are two important concepts to consider when designing products, functionality and aesthetics. Most business owners are fully aware of these two concepts.
Functionality: This is the why to making products. Without a purpose, or a function, there is no point to making anything. A product needs to be able to function adequately to perform a needed task or function. Traditional Business modeling would state that in fact the product should go above basic functionality and offer more.
Aesthetics: The look. What good is a functional product if it is not pleasing to the eye. Nobody is going to want to buy a car that looks like crap, even if it runs extremely well.
Traditionally, functionality should be considered first, going above and beyond normal functionality is what is thought to make a product attractive to consumer. Aesthetics should be applied to some degree, but only enough for a consumer not to be turned off. Bob reverses this theory, asserting that aesthetics is indeed as important, if not more so than functionality.
Over the course of the last 4 years GenTechs has been building a machine for a client. Unfortunately this machine is under a strict NDA and I can not go into any more details here. Suffice to say, this machine is fairly large and has cost a large sum of money. Production has been slow, and often delayed, resulting in the costs overtaking the agreed upon price. Most of you may be thinking that we should cut our losses and run, dump the system the way it is and move forward. While that may be a good idea... Bob has other plans.
During the course of building this machine, Bob has repeatedly followed his rules of business administration and is certain this machine will turn a profit, if not now, then in the long run. The machine was actually sold before the design was even finalized, remember young business minds, fly by the seat of your pants! In fact, during the entire production Bob has tried to let his employees handle most of the production tasks so that he could focus on his other business ventures. Being the great man he is though, he knew he could not stay away, and in fact would pop his head in every few weeks and make changes (for the better) that made all the prior weeks work for nothing. This process of changes continued throughout the entire production run of the machine.
Finally last week, after having gone way over budget but finally delivering a working machine, Bob turns to me and says, "I like it, but we need to make it look better."
I didn't think much of his comment until two days ago, Bob showed up with 50 rolls of aluminum foil. "We are going to cover the machine with aluminum foil!" Bob proclaimed excitedly. "Not only will it help cool our machine, but it will also make it look spacey, like a satellite!"
I inquired to Bob about why we were going to do this, and he told me that customers like things that look Science Fictioney. I thought it looked terrible, but Bob assured me that it would work, and even though we were at a loss of money now, the look would bring him back for more and the money would flow! Besides, not only does the machine look good, but it also looks good for the company to bring in sales, even if they are at a loss.
... It's all about Appearances!
The title of this story basically summarizes the story, It's all about Appearances! There are two important concepts to consider when designing products, functionality and aesthetics. Most business owners are fully aware of these two concepts.
Functionality: This is the why to making products. Without a purpose, or a function, there is no point to making anything. A product needs to be able to function adequately to perform a needed task or function. Traditional Business modeling would state that in fact the product should go above basic functionality and offer more.
Aesthetics: The look. What good is a functional product if it is not pleasing to the eye. Nobody is going to want to buy a car that looks like crap, even if it runs extremely well.
Traditionally, functionality should be considered first, going above and beyond normal functionality is what is thought to make a product attractive to consumer. Aesthetics should be applied to some degree, but only enough for a consumer not to be turned off. Bob reverses this theory, asserting that aesthetics is indeed as important, if not more so than functionality.
Over the course of the last 4 years GenTechs has been building a machine for a client. Unfortunately this machine is under a strict NDA and I can not go into any more details here. Suffice to say, this machine is fairly large and has cost a large sum of money. Production has been slow, and often delayed, resulting in the costs overtaking the agreed upon price. Most of you may be thinking that we should cut our losses and run, dump the system the way it is and move forward. While that may be a good idea... Bob has other plans.
During the course of building this machine, Bob has repeatedly followed his rules of business administration and is certain this machine will turn a profit, if not now, then in the long run. The machine was actually sold before the design was even finalized, remember young business minds, fly by the seat of your pants! In fact, during the entire production Bob has tried to let his employees handle most of the production tasks so that he could focus on his other business ventures. Being the great man he is though, he knew he could not stay away, and in fact would pop his head in every few weeks and make changes (for the better) that made all the prior weeks work for nothing. This process of changes continued throughout the entire production run of the machine.
Finally last week, after having gone way over budget but finally delivering a working machine, Bob turns to me and says, "I like it, but we need to make it look better."
I didn't think much of his comment until two days ago, Bob showed up with 50 rolls of aluminum foil. "We are going to cover the machine with aluminum foil!" Bob proclaimed excitedly. "Not only will it help cool our machine, but it will also make it look spacey, like a satellite!"
I inquired to Bob about why we were going to do this, and he told me that customers like things that look Science Fictioney. I thought it looked terrible, but Bob assured me that it would work, and even though we were at a loss of money now, the look would bring him back for more and the money would flow! Besides, not only does the machine look good, but it also looks good for the company to bring in sales, even if they are at a loss.
... It's all about Appearances!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Behind the Music: Bob D.
Robert David was born RĂ¼diger Erwin Hans Liechtenstein David III on July 13th 1961 to parents Dieter and Gertrude David high in the Liechtensteinian Alps. His childhood was usual for a boy of his age. He enjoyed the usual alpine activities such as yodeling, playing the alpenhorn and spending time with his best friends, cows. At age 12 he became interested in the world of business, writing business plans regarding how to run and manage his free time. He eventually went on to study business under Liechtenstein's greatest business mind. It was during his studies where he learned to disregard all traditional business teachings and eventually form his current model of business administration.
Bob's first real business venture came at age 19, when he developed a line of winter apparel for swiss alpine cows. His bovine clothing line was perfectly targeted to those swiss cow farmers. Using innovative advertising slogans such as "Das warm cow ist ein happy cow!" and "Best milk comes from best warm cow!" as well innovative marketing techniques such as personalized visits to farmers high in the Alps on bicycle. The farmers really felt like they were buddies and as such decided to buy Bob's patented cow warmers even though business was working just fine and was very profitable without them. Bob, not one to let an opportunity pass him by, insisted that he was just a small alpine boy from a small alpine family running a small alpine business. This tactic allowed Bob to gain sympathy from the farmers and buy milk for cheap.
Bob founded and ran a record of 19 successful business ventures over the course of the next 20 years or so. Bob had conquered the business world and decided it was time he turned his attention to politics. Since Liechtenstein is ruled by a prince, Bob saw that opportunity awaited him in the United States. At age 39, in 2000, Bob packed his bags and moved directly to the heart of US politics, Washington DC. Over the course of the next few years he mingled with Beltway insiders and slowly but surely edged his way into politics. After Bill Clinton's term ended Bob learned a valuable lesson from the presidency of George Bush. Bob learned that in order to truly be successful you do not always want to put yourself out in front. Instead, it can be very beneficial to be the second or third in charge and call the shots silently using a scapegoat. Bob carefully studied Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, hoping to learn all he could from these two masterminds.
During his time studying politics, Bob started up his latest venture, Generic Technologies. GenTechs is his latest and greatest achievement. Most recently, Bob has stealthily positioned himself into the campaigns of all the major US presidential candidates, including, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John McCain. He plans to use his position with the next president to allow for tax breaks and other government benefits towards GenTechs.
The future is bright for RĂ¼diger, and the opportunities are endless!
Bob's first real business venture came at age 19, when he developed a line of winter apparel for swiss alpine cows. His bovine clothing line was perfectly targeted to those swiss cow farmers. Using innovative advertising slogans such as "Das warm cow ist ein happy cow!" and "Best milk comes from best warm cow!" as well innovative marketing techniques such as personalized visits to farmers high in the Alps on bicycle. The farmers really felt like they were buddies and as such decided to buy Bob's patented cow warmers even though business was working just fine and was very profitable without them. Bob, not one to let an opportunity pass him by, insisted that he was just a small alpine boy from a small alpine family running a small alpine business. This tactic allowed Bob to gain sympathy from the farmers and buy milk for cheap.
Bob founded and ran a record of 19 successful business ventures over the course of the next 20 years or so. Bob had conquered the business world and decided it was time he turned his attention to politics. Since Liechtenstein is ruled by a prince, Bob saw that opportunity awaited him in the United States. At age 39, in 2000, Bob packed his bags and moved directly to the heart of US politics, Washington DC. Over the course of the next few years he mingled with Beltway insiders and slowly but surely edged his way into politics. After Bill Clinton's term ended Bob learned a valuable lesson from the presidency of George Bush. Bob learned that in order to truly be successful you do not always want to put yourself out in front. Instead, it can be very beneficial to be the second or third in charge and call the shots silently using a scapegoat. Bob carefully studied Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, hoping to learn all he could from these two masterminds.
During his time studying politics, Bob started up his latest venture, Generic Technologies. GenTechs is his latest and greatest achievement. Most recently, Bob has stealthily positioned himself into the campaigns of all the major US presidential candidates, including, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John McCain. He plans to use his position with the next president to allow for tax breaks and other government benefits towards GenTechs.
The future is bright for RĂ¼diger, and the opportunities are endless!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Holiday Cheer!
Holidays? Its February? It's never too late for a good story.
What comes to mind when you think of the holidays, family, friends, presents, good food? Moses? Jesus? Many of you out there who work your nine-to-five jobs probably also associate the holidays with extended paid leave from work, holiday bonuses, and company parties. Oh what a joyous time of year, a time of cheer, and a time of glee!
I want to share with you the wondrous joyous holiday party we held this past year at GenTechs.
I received a call from Bob a week or so before Jesus' birthday (by the way, happy 2007th birthday Jesus!) and Bob wanted to know about holiday parties and traditions, as well as what days are normally taken off from work. To many of you these may seem like odd questions to ask, but you must understand that Bob is not natively from the United States, he is actually Liechtensteinian (that means he is from Liechtenstein). Based on his foreign nationality, Bob just was not aware of our lavish American customs when it comes to the holidays. Bob's first suggestion was that we rent out his entire home country of Liechtenstein for a holiday party. When Bob came down from his zealous national pride and excitement he realized the cost to do that would be too great. Finally he asked about organizing a regular party to which I replied was a good idea. The conversation ended at that point.
A week or so had passed and everyone in the office was getting ready to leave early and begin their holiday plans. I received a call from Bob, who had not been in to the office since that phone call a week earlier. Out on other business ventures, no doubt. Anyways, he said he would be there in 30 minutes and had a surprise for us and would need help to bring it up. 2 and a half hours later Bob called to say he was downstairs. I went downstairs and grabbed a box out of his car and brought it back up to the office. After waiting about 45 minutes, Bob finally finished the trip up the single flight of stairs (he must have gotten sidetracked). He called a few of us into his office and proceeded to tell us that he brought us all some special gifts for the holidays. The box was clearly from a mail order company. He opened the box and showed us various boxes of assorted snacks and chocolates... like the ones you would find in a gift basket from mail order companies around the holidays. Bob turned to us and said "I brought these for you, and, you can each take two!" Wow! the generosity! Even though it looked like the choice items had already been taken, probably by Bob's family, and it wasn't presented in the lovely gift basket format we all know and love, it was still a wonderful gesture of appreciation. Seeing the look of joy in our eyes, Bob then told us all to have a nice holiday and enjoy our unpaid vacation days.
I hope you enjoyed reading about Holidays 2007 at GenTechs as much as I enjoyed telling it.
I have decided that my next posting will be a profiling of Bob, a short biography. I wanted to give you a story of the life of the man who is responsible for this blog. I also want to inform you of the path he has taken to success so that you may one day follow in his footsteps.
What comes to mind when you think of the holidays, family, friends, presents, good food? Moses? Jesus? Many of you out there who work your nine-to-five jobs probably also associate the holidays with extended paid leave from work, holiday bonuses, and company parties. Oh what a joyous time of year, a time of cheer, and a time of glee!
I want to share with you the wondrous joyous holiday party we held this past year at GenTechs.
I received a call from Bob a week or so before Jesus' birthday (by the way, happy 2007th birthday Jesus!) and Bob wanted to know about holiday parties and traditions, as well as what days are normally taken off from work. To many of you these may seem like odd questions to ask, but you must understand that Bob is not natively from the United States, he is actually Liechtensteinian (that means he is from Liechtenstein). Based on his foreign nationality, Bob just was not aware of our lavish American customs when it comes to the holidays. Bob's first suggestion was that we rent out his entire home country of Liechtenstein for a holiday party. When Bob came down from his zealous national pride and excitement he realized the cost to do that would be too great. Finally he asked about organizing a regular party to which I replied was a good idea. The conversation ended at that point.
A week or so had passed and everyone in the office was getting ready to leave early and begin their holiday plans. I received a call from Bob, who had not been in to the office since that phone call a week earlier. Out on other business ventures, no doubt. Anyways, he said he would be there in 30 minutes and had a surprise for us and would need help to bring it up. 2 and a half hours later Bob called to say he was downstairs. I went downstairs and grabbed a box out of his car and brought it back up to the office. After waiting about 45 minutes, Bob finally finished the trip up the single flight of stairs (he must have gotten sidetracked). He called a few of us into his office and proceeded to tell us that he brought us all some special gifts for the holidays. The box was clearly from a mail order company. He opened the box and showed us various boxes of assorted snacks and chocolates... like the ones you would find in a gift basket from mail order companies around the holidays. Bob turned to us and said "I brought these for you, and, you can each take two!" Wow! the generosity! Even though it looked like the choice items had already been taken, probably by Bob's family, and it wasn't presented in the lovely gift basket format we all know and love, it was still a wonderful gesture of appreciation. Seeing the look of joy in our eyes, Bob then told us all to have a nice holiday and enjoy our unpaid vacation days.
I hope you enjoyed reading about Holidays 2007 at GenTechs as much as I enjoyed telling it.
I have decided that my next posting will be a profiling of Bob, a short biography. I wanted to give you a story of the life of the man who is responsible for this blog. I also want to inform you of the path he has taken to success so that you may one day follow in his footsteps.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Presenting Rule #13
Let me begin this week with an apology. I had promised that this would be a place to share stories, stories that would not only amaze, but inspire. These stories would be filled with many wonderful anecdotes written in such a way that would not only enlighten, but educate you, the reader, about the teachings of Bob. The stories will serve a dual purpose, to help you become a more productive member of your business environment and hopefully, eventually, take the skills learned here to venture out on your own.
Unfortunately for you the reader, Bob has been following his set of rules down to a T. What that means in practical terms, that you, the layman can understand, is that Bob has been away on other pursuits, which leaves us with a lack of stories. He understands that his time and his guidance are so valuable that something inevitable must happen. Before I let you in on what exactly that inevitable outcome is, lets turn quickly back to the prior stated fact that Bob's time is immeasurably valuable. It is so valuable in fact, that even though he is the leader, the decision maker, here at GenTechs, he must not waste his time by dealing with trite office tasks. He knows that he is just too valuable for GenTechs to actually spend his time managing the company and giving it direction. As you, the reader, should now be acutely aware, Bob should, no, must, spend his time elsewhere engaging in various other business pursuits. And as has already been stated, Bob is doing just that. So, I do apologize for the lack of fresh stories, but they will begin in earnest very soon.
In addition, that inevitable outcome of which I spoke earlier has to do directly with the other point I made, Bob's guidance is very valuable. Because of the statement made earlier, "... understands that his time and his guidance are... valuable...", Bob can rest assured knowing that even though he must spend his time following other pursuits, his company, our company of GenTechs, can run just fine without his management or direct guidance. He understands that even though his employees do not have the qualifications or the experience to run the business on a day to day basis, they will do just fine as long as they follow his immeasurably valuable rules and prior guidance.
With that out of the way, I regret to inform you that I do not have a story for you, instead I will be presenting to you rule number 13. Please pay special attention because this rule (As with all other rules) is especially important.
13. Starting times are for grumpy old men. Whose bright idea was it to come up with the idea that a "normal" business day should begin at 9 and end at 5? Just because the sun comes up in the morning and sets in the evening should not dictate that work begin sharp in the morning and end sharp in the evening. That kind of talk is conservative nonsense. If you want to succeed in the 21st century, you need be forward thinking. This means that business happens all the time, not just between two preset times of the day. As such, encourage your employees to just show up, instead of show up on time. Without rules as to starting times, your employees will feel important, they will feel they are the master of their own domain and will set their own schedules. Even if they show up late and leave early, you can rest assured knowing that they are happier with their schedule and will be infinitely more productive during the day (or even night!). Having set schedules or rules concerning schedules will only cost you important time and money trying to enforce and uphold those rules or schedules.
Bob should be returning to the office at some point... in the future. So stories of his teachings and methods should begin soon. In the mean time, keep a pen and some paper handy because the rules are constantly growing and evolving as Bob continues to grace us with his teachings.
Until Next Time.
Unfortunately for you the reader, Bob has been following his set of rules down to a T. What that means in practical terms, that you, the layman can understand, is that Bob has been away on other pursuits, which leaves us with a lack of stories. He understands that his time and his guidance are so valuable that something inevitable must happen. Before I let you in on what exactly that inevitable outcome is, lets turn quickly back to the prior stated fact that Bob's time is immeasurably valuable. It is so valuable in fact, that even though he is the leader, the decision maker, here at GenTechs, he must not waste his time by dealing with trite office tasks. He knows that he is just too valuable for GenTechs to actually spend his time managing the company and giving it direction. As you, the reader, should now be acutely aware, Bob should, no, must, spend his time elsewhere engaging in various other business pursuits. And as has already been stated, Bob is doing just that. So, I do apologize for the lack of fresh stories, but they will begin in earnest very soon.
In addition, that inevitable outcome of which I spoke earlier has to do directly with the other point I made, Bob's guidance is very valuable. Because of the statement made earlier, "... understands that his time and his guidance are... valuable...", Bob can rest assured knowing that even though he must spend his time following other pursuits, his company, our company of GenTechs, can run just fine without his management or direct guidance. He understands that even though his employees do not have the qualifications or the experience to run the business on a day to day basis, they will do just fine as long as they follow his immeasurably valuable rules and prior guidance.
With that out of the way, I regret to inform you that I do not have a story for you, instead I will be presenting to you rule number 13. Please pay special attention because this rule (As with all other rules) is especially important.
13. Starting times are for grumpy old men. Whose bright idea was it to come up with the idea that a "normal" business day should begin at 9 and end at 5? Just because the sun comes up in the morning and sets in the evening should not dictate that work begin sharp in the morning and end sharp in the evening. That kind of talk is conservative nonsense. If you want to succeed in the 21st century, you need be forward thinking. This means that business happens all the time, not just between two preset times of the day. As such, encourage your employees to just show up, instead of show up on time. Without rules as to starting times, your employees will feel important, they will feel they are the master of their own domain and will set their own schedules. Even if they show up late and leave early, you can rest assured knowing that they are happier with their schedule and will be infinitely more productive during the day (or even night!). Having set schedules or rules concerning schedules will only cost you important time and money trying to enforce and uphold those rules or schedules.
Bob should be returning to the office at some point... in the future. So stories of his teachings and methods should begin soon. In the mean time, keep a pen and some paper handy because the rules are constantly growing and evolving as Bob continues to grace us with his teachings.
Until Next Time.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Rule #11 and 12
In my excitement to let the world know of the teachings of Bob, I actually left out an important rule. It is important enough, that I felt like I needed to stop by again and inform the public.
11. Business is about making friends. This is actually a critical rule as most businesses at some point will need to rely on either one of two things. First, businesses need to buy things from other businesses, and second, businesses need to sell things, either to other businesses or customers. Remember to always make friends with other businesses or potential customers, this way other businesses will want to give you discounts when you buy from them, and customers will want to spend more just to do business with you! The first step of this rule is to call everyone buddy. People like that. It shows them that you are friendly, and they will then want to give you more money! And on the reverse they will want to give you big discounts, even when they have set fixed prices. When purchasing supplies your company needs, always remember the first step, and in addition, let them know your story. People doing business love to hear the stories of others, it distracts them from their otherwise monotonous careers. Always let them know, that as their friend, you need discounts. If you are a big business, you could say, "Buddy, we are large and spread thin, help us out with a discount." If you are a small business you could say, "Buddy, we are just a small company, help us out." At that point they will know you are their friend and they will feel morally obligated to give you a discount.
12. Repeat everything at least twice. Remember that not everyone is as smart as you. Even if they say they understand, it is critical that you continue to say what you have been trying to say. Spend at least 15 minutes to get your point across, even if saying it once would only take 15 seconds. When you realize that your employees are far below your level you will be much better equipped to deal and speak with them. Repeat everything at least twice. Remember that not everyone is as smart as you. Even if they say they understand, it is critical that you continue to say what you have been trying to say. Spend at least 15 minutes to get your point across, even if saying it once would only take 15 seconds. When you realize that your employees are far below your level you will be much better equipped to deal and speak with them.
Bob has actually left for the day, so I can't remember if rule #11 was actually one rule or two. Either way, the information is important, Buddy.
More rules and stories will be posted within the coming days, so stay tuned Buddy.
11. Business is about making friends. This is actually a critical rule as most businesses at some point will need to rely on either one of two things. First, businesses need to buy things from other businesses, and second, businesses need to sell things, either to other businesses or customers. Remember to always make friends with other businesses or potential customers, this way other businesses will want to give you discounts when you buy from them, and customers will want to spend more just to do business with you! The first step of this rule is to call everyone buddy. People like that. It shows them that you are friendly, and they will then want to give you more money! And on the reverse they will want to give you big discounts, even when they have set fixed prices. When purchasing supplies your company needs, always remember the first step, and in addition, let them know your story. People doing business love to hear the stories of others, it distracts them from their otherwise monotonous careers. Always let them know, that as their friend, you need discounts. If you are a big business, you could say, "Buddy, we are large and spread thin, help us out with a discount." If you are a small business you could say, "Buddy, we are just a small company, help us out." At that point they will know you are their friend and they will feel morally obligated to give you a discount.
12. Repeat everything at least twice. Remember that not everyone is as smart as you. Even if they say they understand, it is critical that you continue to say what you have been trying to say. Spend at least 15 minutes to get your point across, even if saying it once would only take 15 seconds. When you realize that your employees are far below your level you will be much better equipped to deal and speak with them. Repeat everything at least twice. Remember that not everyone is as smart as you. Even if they say they understand, it is critical that you continue to say what you have been trying to say. Spend at least 15 minutes to get your point across, even if saying it once would only take 15 seconds. When you realize that your employees are far below your level you will be much better equipped to deal and speak with them.
Bob has actually left for the day, so I can't remember if rule #11 was actually one rule or two. Either way, the information is important, Buddy.
More rules and stories will be posted within the coming days, so stay tuned Buddy.
The 15 Step Plan to Success!
Greetings! I wanted to start this off the right way.
Most of the time I will post stories about my experiences working with Bob and show you, the reader ways to apply the lessons from these stories into your own successful business enterprises. The stories will be both humorous and uplifting, and at the same time extremely informative. You should have pen and paper handy at all times to jot down notes as the life and business lessons learned here are invaluable. In fact, without these lessons you may very well actually die. So please, take note.
Now, today, I will be doing something a little different to start this thing off the right way. Today, you will be treated to the 15 step plan for success in the business world, as presented to me by my friend and mentor Bob. These 15 steps may very well be the most important 15 lines of text you will read, Ever.
Give yourself a moment to let that sink in, this is the most important thing... Ever.
Very well, onto the steps.
1. Business Plan. Anyone who knows anything about business knows that the first step to running a business is to have a business plan that outlines your ideas and goals for the business. Well unfortunately, none of those people were Bob, and in fact companies have been doing it wrong for centuries. The best way to successfully run a business is not to start with a business plan, as Bob has told me, business is changing ALL the time, so why lock your company into a rigid business plan. Remember, the best policy is fly by the seat of your pants, whatever pops into your mind is the right thing to be doing.
2. Never listen to your subordinates. Remember, YOU are the one that created this business, YOU are the one with the fancy degrees. Who do they think they are trying to explain things to you, or tell you their opinions. Sometimes its alright to listen to them, but make sure that you do not follow any of their suggestions. Remember, even if one of your employees tells you something they believe is right, it isn't right until you confirm it is so. In fact, stop everything you and your employee are doing and call someone to confirm. Even if you have to wait on hold for 30 minutes that time is better spent than if you both were working. In the end, even if your employee was "right", he wasn't correct until you confirmed it was so.
3. Always, I repeat, Always wait until the last minute to either work on, or turn in important documents, whether it be grant proposals or any other important documents you may have been working on. This will show any potential reviewers of your documents that you are a hard worker. Even if you turn it in late, they will know that you were working so hard that it took you right up to the bitter end before you finished.
4. Feign Ignorance. Remember, they can't blame you for something you didn't even know. If for example you happen to submit something late, just act like you were unaware of the due date/time. Don't worry, they will feel bad and give you an extension!
5. It's never YOUR fault. Your employees were hired by you to do what you want and need. This includes taking the blame if you ever screw up. If an important item was left out of a document because of your adherence to Rule #3 (Read: You worked until the bitter end) and a lack of time to review, it is not your fault. Your employees should be ready to cater to your every whim and need and anticipate that you will be working to the bitter end. Just remember, blame your employees and you will succeed.
6. Make your numbers up. If you find yourself working on budgets, or financial documents, always remember to make your numbers up to achieve the final results you want. If you write in documents that you are making money, people will believe you and give you more money!
7. Always hire students or recent graduates. Why pay top dollar for experienced employees when you can grab them right out of school for next to nothing? Recall Rule #2, you are always right anyways, so why hire someone who thinks they know everything already.
8. Don't give benefits to your employees. Why waste the money? Your employees will recognize you as the head honcho, and will be willing to forgo the usual benefits that employees of ALL other companies enjoy. Salaries, insurance, paid vacation, sick leave, raises, bonuses, retirement savings, and profit sharing all take away money from your company. Remember, business should be centered around YOU, as you know best, your employees are only there to support you and they will understand.
9. Your primary source of revenue should be from Research and Development grants. Even if those grants are intended to allow your company to take a product directly into the market, you shouldn't. It is always way easier to simply take the money than try and expand and sell your products. You will just create unnecessary headaches for yourself by trying to bring your product into market. If you MUST try to bring it into market, don't hire someone experienced in marketing or sales, just casually give the job to one of your students. *Please note, this rule only implicitly applies to technology/R&D companies, but the idea behind it can be applied to all businesses*
10. Powerpoint is king. This rule, even though listed last, may very well be the most important rule in the history of ever. It is so important, that it is actually inconceivable to imagine how people successfully ran businesses, nay, even lived, before Powerpoint was created. Any and ALL documents created in your business should be made in Powerpoint. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, simply dismiss it and tell them how superior Powerpoint is, remember after all, that it was YOU who started this business, and it is YOU who knows best.
Well that concludes the 15 rules for a successful business. You may be questioning why there are only 10 rules listed, but you would be wrong to do so. You also may be questioning why they are called steps first, then later called rules, but you would also be wrong to do so.
This article should set the tone for what is to come and what promises to be a great business partnership between myself, Dwight, you the reader, and also my mentor, Bob.
We hope to see you again soon.
Most of the time I will post stories about my experiences working with Bob and show you, the reader ways to apply the lessons from these stories into your own successful business enterprises. The stories will be both humorous and uplifting, and at the same time extremely informative. You should have pen and paper handy at all times to jot down notes as the life and business lessons learned here are invaluable. In fact, without these lessons you may very well actually die. So please, take note.
Now, today, I will be doing something a little different to start this thing off the right way. Today, you will be treated to the 15 step plan for success in the business world, as presented to me by my friend and mentor Bob. These 15 steps may very well be the most important 15 lines of text you will read, Ever.
Give yourself a moment to let that sink in, this is the most important thing... Ever.
Very well, onto the steps.
1. Business Plan. Anyone who knows anything about business knows that the first step to running a business is to have a business plan that outlines your ideas and goals for the business. Well unfortunately, none of those people were Bob, and in fact companies have been doing it wrong for centuries. The best way to successfully run a business is not to start with a business plan, as Bob has told me, business is changing ALL the time, so why lock your company into a rigid business plan. Remember, the best policy is fly by the seat of your pants, whatever pops into your mind is the right thing to be doing.
2. Never listen to your subordinates. Remember, YOU are the one that created this business, YOU are the one with the fancy degrees. Who do they think they are trying to explain things to you, or tell you their opinions. Sometimes its alright to listen to them, but make sure that you do not follow any of their suggestions. Remember, even if one of your employees tells you something they believe is right, it isn't right until you confirm it is so. In fact, stop everything you and your employee are doing and call someone to confirm. Even if you have to wait on hold for 30 minutes that time is better spent than if you both were working. In the end, even if your employee was "right", he wasn't correct until you confirmed it was so.
3. Always, I repeat, Always wait until the last minute to either work on, or turn in important documents, whether it be grant proposals or any other important documents you may have been working on. This will show any potential reviewers of your documents that you are a hard worker. Even if you turn it in late, they will know that you were working so hard that it took you right up to the bitter end before you finished.
4. Feign Ignorance. Remember, they can't blame you for something you didn't even know. If for example you happen to submit something late, just act like you were unaware of the due date/time. Don't worry, they will feel bad and give you an extension!
5. It's never YOUR fault. Your employees were hired by you to do what you want and need. This includes taking the blame if you ever screw up. If an important item was left out of a document because of your adherence to Rule #3 (Read: You worked until the bitter end) and a lack of time to review, it is not your fault. Your employees should be ready to cater to your every whim and need and anticipate that you will be working to the bitter end. Just remember, blame your employees and you will succeed.
6. Make your numbers up. If you find yourself working on budgets, or financial documents, always remember to make your numbers up to achieve the final results you want. If you write in documents that you are making money, people will believe you and give you more money!
7. Always hire students or recent graduates. Why pay top dollar for experienced employees when you can grab them right out of school for next to nothing? Recall Rule #2, you are always right anyways, so why hire someone who thinks they know everything already.
8. Don't give benefits to your employees. Why waste the money? Your employees will recognize you as the head honcho, and will be willing to forgo the usual benefits that employees of ALL other companies enjoy. Salaries, insurance, paid vacation, sick leave, raises, bonuses, retirement savings, and profit sharing all take away money from your company. Remember, business should be centered around YOU, as you know best, your employees are only there to support you and they will understand.
9. Your primary source of revenue should be from Research and Development grants. Even if those grants are intended to allow your company to take a product directly into the market, you shouldn't. It is always way easier to simply take the money than try and expand and sell your products. You will just create unnecessary headaches for yourself by trying to bring your product into market. If you MUST try to bring it into market, don't hire someone experienced in marketing or sales, just casually give the job to one of your students. *Please note, this rule only implicitly applies to technology/R&D companies, but the idea behind it can be applied to all businesses*
10. Powerpoint is king. This rule, even though listed last, may very well be the most important rule in the history of ever. It is so important, that it is actually inconceivable to imagine how people successfully ran businesses, nay, even lived, before Powerpoint was created. Any and ALL documents created in your business should be made in Powerpoint. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, simply dismiss it and tell them how superior Powerpoint is, remember after all, that it was YOU who started this business, and it is YOU who knows best.
Well that concludes the 15 rules for a successful business. You may be questioning why there are only 10 rules listed, but you would be wrong to do so. You also may be questioning why they are called steps first, then later called rules, but you would also be wrong to do so.
This article should set the tone for what is to come and what promises to be a great business partnership between myself, Dwight, you the reader, and also my mentor, Bob.
We hope to see you again soon.
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